when you have nothing important or useful to say..

okay, i was supposed to be finishing up some long pending tasks, instead i am here, typing out arbitrary stuff, because i don't feel like doing anything else...

some days are meant to have a hopeless feeling about them, for no reason. everything is fine, looks great, but she just didn't feel right. went about the usual tasks, kept up the usual smile, but the mind was doing its own analysis in the background. it came up with two fairly obvious conclusions--- very tired of the routine, and nothing exciting to look forward to.

while i am typing this, i am, in parallel, involved in two different but equally demanding chat conversations, each of which is an attempt at convincing a friend that he should infact go ahead and ask that girl (that he has been infatuated with, for many months/years) out and not worry about the supposed consequences of breaking their existing friendship. naah, i don't seem to be succeeding ... both of them are still too scared, but atleast they accepted that they are deeply interested in their respective girls. sorry for the interruption, we now return.

instead, of going through the day listlessly, and then the week and then months and years, she decided to do some different. perhaps, not very dramatic. certainly not very dramatic, she is incapable of that. she always dreads drawing attention to herself. she even frets if her social circle finds some change in her and remarks about it-- like the other day when she had a slightly fancy haircut inviting a few comments, all positive. but she was extremely uncomfortable that day, even left early in order to not attract any more attention. she preferred to remain inconspicuous. at any party filled with new faces, she would tend to blend into the background unless she is with her close group of friends. thats what surprises her. she is not the traditional introvert. she had concluded at an young age itself that she is slightly weird.

aargh, the chat conversations distracted me for too long and now i don't remember what i was thinking while writing the above paragraph, and certainly no clue on which way to extend it. so it will be abandoned .... let's try something else.

the wind was whizzing past. that made the walk even harder. as it is, walking while absolutely lost in thoughts is not an easy activity. the pace slows down as the thoughts keeping sucking in the consciousness. sometimes, the person might even come to a stand-still and not realise it, like he did. and when he did notice it, he started again with a shake of the head and a shrug of helplessness. in spite of his sudden movement, the blame for the crash lay with the cyclist. he, securely ensconced in his helmet, was distracted by a parade of mini-skirted legs on the pavement and didn't notice the person walking right into his path. both of them collapsed to the ground. the non-cyclist was even entangled with the front wheel. after picking themselves up and scanning for scratches, they looked up to face each other. both smiled sheepishly conveying guilt. obviously, each thought it was his own fault. after a flurry of apologies, they restarted on their perpendicular paths; pushing away the memory of this incident into an abyss in their brains, never to recollect. thus, the cycle did crash into other people and even lamp-posts in the rest of its life-time, the cyclist continued to get distracted ever so often and the non-cyclist did continue to apologise unnecessarily, blaming his absent-mindedness for mistakes he didn't commit.