Friday, December 31, 2004

Going home.......

Again...yes. Will return at the restart of the sem. Did some good work in my project yesterday (actually day-before-yesterday). Worked hard today morning but it was an unsuccesful idea. Need better ideas.........
Went to school on Christmas day. That is the annual alumni meet. Alumni meet! Our class contained only 40 students and we were just the 5th batch. So, its pretty evident the number of alumni that we have:D. Anyway 100 people showed up. Couldnt recognise most of the people. The only people i seem to remember are our immediate senior batch. Ofcourse, my class too. I wont forget them. Was able to recognise most of the immediate juniors but couldnt recollect their names. Well what else can you expect if you had the minimal interaction that is possible. Going to these meets every year doesnt seem to be helping either. The achievements of the alumni were a few jobs and mostly seats in good institutions. Good institutions would translate to national institutions in Engineering and any institution offering Mbbs. And all such succesful persons were asked to share a few words. My friend's advice was - 'dont study much.' This advice was given to those who are experiencing hell-on-earth in those famed corporate intermediate colleges. I was more restrained and just told them to enjoy whatever they did. I dont think anyone listened to it anyway.

"The people of this country survive on hope and hype" ..... now who could be the contributor of this quotation??

Notice : This is the last post on this blog.
in the year 2004 AD i.e.

How am i going to ring-in the new year?
By doing one of my favourite things.....Sleep.
Btw, Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Tragedies everywhere......

Yes...i am back again..another short stay. Have been watching and reading about the Disaster a lot. Feel very bad. The jump in the numbers is really shocking. And then if you consider that each of those that make up those numbers is not just a dead person but a great numbing loss to a family, most probably a poor one, its really really ...what can i say. And then comes the fact of the rescue operations. A massive rescue operation is underway. Mass graves are being dug! A lot of people are still missing. And a lot of people will be missed forever. And what can we do? A small monetary contribution at the maximum. People go on about their lives. Reading the news as they would any other. Maybe sometimes discuss the tragedy with their friends, make a small contribution, rarely. Yeah, relief organisations have rushed to the affected areas, aid has been rushed etc etc. But, thats it. A few voluntary workers are facing the hardships which they neednt face and helping those who had to face the consequences of a small hiccup of this mother earth. The most tragic part is that most of the people who are suffering are so poor that they had to struggle for their daily existence even before the waves turned murderers. Those same waves, to see which, to experience which, to enjoy which people have travelled half way across the world and ended up at Thailand and Sri lanka.
A lot of things i found to distaste. One being that the news people report that some 10,000 are dead in Srilanka and then in the same breath say that some 40 tourists are missing in Thailand. Not just that, they also covered a story about a tourist stranded there who is planning to wait a few more days and make something of his supposed vacation. Okay, maybe they need other stories than just dead numbers, but i feel that, maybe i imagine a difference in the way the news is reported about the dead fishermen and the dead tourists.
Anyways, what am i doing about it, the disaster i mean. Nothing. Maybe filling some blogspace and also spending some of my time reading about it. None of these actions is going to be of any benefit to those out there. At this moment, i wonder, why do people have wars and riots, shouldnt those energies be better utilised in fighting against the evil side of nature? Ofcourse, but that doesnt mean that the people would drop their guns and trishuls. Nothing is going to change. Yeah, other than the duration of the day (according to some news).

Thursday, December 23, 2004

We didnt win........

But we did come second....They gave us some sort of mementos and a small trophy. They mentioned a lot of times that maybe we should have used more time. Afterall, we didnt even use half the time. But it doesnt matter. I cant see how more time would have made any change. I guess they didnt like our 'confidence'. Btw, along with those things they also awarded us each 7k. So that make my total earnings till now in my life to be around 18k. All in less than 8 months. Hope it continues. :D
But should i say that i lost 3k? Because the winners got 10k each. And i still think that we should have won. Thanks Jaggu n Anubhav.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Back from the contest...

Yeah....just back from the contest. It was a programming contest. Scheduled from 9am to 9pm. Yes 12 hours. Just one question. Our programming efficiency, techniques, style, documentation, approach and design (not in any order) would be evaluated. We were supposed to report at the centre at 8:30am. It is conducted by a Company, so the way it is organised is pretty good. Typical IIITians that we were, we arrived at the centre at 9. We actually got confused and first went to another office of theirs, which was in the same area, then we were redirected to the actual venue where the contest was being held. Reading the problem and understanding it, and a doubts clarification session went on till 10. Then the three of us actually started discussing the algorithm that we need to apply. We concluded that it would need a Dijkstra with a slight modification for the cost. Actually more than a slight modification, i guess. Anyways, it did look surprising that they gave just this one problem for whole 12 hours. We had the thrice ACM-returned Jagan in our team. So he implemented the Heap quite quickly, by which time, the rest two of us finalised on the final algorithm. They gave us Windows to work on. That was a major difficulty. Though to make the task easier, they did give the unix simulator cygwin. So, the code was compilation error free by 12:30. And it worked at the first attempt!!! Ofcourse we already checked the heap. But i thought that we would atleast make a few logical errors. But i guess, three people looking at the same screen parallelly minimises that probability. Then we started testing with a few more cases. Verifying the output is slightly painstaking. We did not find any error. So then we modularised it and ate our lunch. Removed the unnnecessary part, commented and wrote the required documentation. Meanwhile, the volunteers came to know that we seemed to have finished it, well within half the given time. so many of them used to come and see the output etc. Everything seemed to have been over by 3. I guess we could have written more about our approach and design whatever, but we limited it to what was essential. Jagan was already getting ready to leave. So we left at 3:30, though the contest is suppposed to end at 9pm.
The result will be known tomorrow i guess. I hope we win. I cant find any problem with the code. But the problem seems so simple, that many teams would be able to solve it i guess. But then, what would be their selection criteria. I just hope we win........ Atleast we were the first to complete it.
Well.....though i didnt contribute much, i seem to be very tired. Back to bed.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Yes...back for a few more days

Started on the project with lots of raging doubts. Had many a thought of dropping it, especially looking at the discussion by the other teams, i stand nowhere compared to them. But am currently trying to do something. Going to a contest tomorrow. No, it has nothing to do with my project. Representing the College along with two seniors. Hopefully will do well. Will blog tomorrow...hopefully again...

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Back.....just temporarily

so, dont worry, i will go back soon. Actually tomorrow morning. Dont worry again. I ll be back next week. And will stay for some time. Its really lonely here. With the population having dwindled to one-tenth of the usual, it has to be lonely i guess. I am still stuck with the problem. Have no idea what i am going to do. The actual problem is actually very simple. The cause is also very simple. Lack of proper work on my part and my project partners in the preceding sem. It has now landed me in a soup. Then i had two others also to share my work. And in the whole sem what we actually accomplished comes to some 15% of what is the total work required. Now, a few days back, just before i went home, i found out that i need to complete the rest 85% by feb 1st. And the deadline cant be extended because it is in no one's hands. :((
Well, if it had been clear what i needed to do, maybe i could accomplish it. But, i have no idea what the 50% of the 85% should be. I have no idea whatsoever. To top it all of, i am alone now. What can be worse? Yeah, my project guide has no idea about my present predicament. I dare not let him now. I m in really really deep deep deep mess. With no way out. Quite a pessimist, am i not?

I felt like writing a poem. Wrote two lines. They sucked so much that i abandoned the effort and hastily deleted the two lines :D

There was a time
when all was well
the clock would chime
and ring would the bell

The people worked hard
faithfully and happily
there wasnt a soul sad
everything was just jolly

Then came the dark clouds
A large army descended
harsh and cruel crowds
everything now, they commanded

With the dark clouds
came the white shrouds
people started to fear
frightened to even come near

they hid in their homes
their farms withered away
the whole village mourns
the price they had to pay

Price that they paid
for not being prepared
for what befall them
no army had they ever reared

Suffering quietly they waited
waited for a saviour
a saviour they waited
with a lot of fervour

Soon they gave up hope
started to live again
accepting the fate, learning to cope
the freedom, a dream remain

I will end the poem here, a sad ending to reflect my sad mood :D:D
Will some one please title my poems ??? Pleaeaeaeasssseeeeee. Or maybe they arent even worth to be titled? I guess so. Atleast i wouldnt spend time on it. :D
So this blog officially ends here.
Unofficially, the two lines i initially wrote without an iota of thought were -
A flickering light i dont even :)

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Finally away from the Computer

For a week. Going home. Will blog again next week

Monday, December 13, 2004

Hopeless...totally hope....

I was frustrated too early. I shouldnt have been frustrated in the last post. Because if i was frustrated then, now what should i be? I cant find any appropriate adjective. Helpless. Hopeless. Tired...Yes tired. Tired of it all. Of everything. I dont want to sit in front of this computer. Or for that matter any computer. It has become the only way of life. To talk to your neighbour, you use yahoo. To vent your frustration you use blogspot. What is the purpose. Everything comes with the digital signature. Digital everything. I just want to go out and smell the air. Not roses, dont really like them.
I am gone. Totally gone. This is the end

Saturday, December 11, 2004


It took a long time to load this page. By the way, should i change my template? Make it different and not use these ready-made ones? Nah, who will go through the trouble. Of course, if anyone else is willing to do it for is a different matter...
Anyways, this is a frustrated person typing here. Frustrated due to a lot of unnatural causes. It started in the morning and hasnt ended yet. As if my own personal frustration wasnt enough, some other people met me and reeled on about a few things adding to my burgeoning frustration. A little of frustration it started with, and has become huge now. Is there no end to this? I feel helpless. And irritated. And a lot more. Also am totally disappointed by the attitude of the people. Of my own attitude too. Frustration and disappointment go hand in hand. And the person to whom those hands belong....someone help him!

Not always i had
this wonderful thought.
not good, not bad
nothing it brought.

A decent amount
of a little thought
may accidentally bring out
something cold, something hot.

What am i saying
You have no idea
The city Seoul being
the capital of South Korea

Lying far away in the far east
South of its brother North.
They were once the same
they still are, just with a different name

But why should i talk about them
There is no reason
So strange, so out of season
so let me try, another exhibition

Looking around, searching the area
my mind fails to grasp a single idea
So i try vigorously again
is this poem, a C program without a main?

It may have various functions
and also a lot of declarations
but do i need to mention
without the main, there is no compilation

When you are a little down
a lot of attempts are made
to push you downer and downer
so that you totally fade

As you grapple harder
with the fear looming
and shout murder murder
you find the yourself dooming

yes, I can use words
that do not exist
because sooner they will
come into our midst

word for word, rhyme for rhyme
paisa for paisa, dime for dime
dollar for dollar, rupee for rupee
can I be more absurdy?

I guess not............

Thursday, December 09, 2004

A title is what should have been here

A strange ...i dont know what. I am writing this post since sleeping at 3:30 am did not appeal to me. :D Neither did it appeal to Su. He is awake too. Well, this post should have some real content. Well, lets see....seeing.......seeing......couldnt find anything. Sorry, but this post will not buck the trend. Watched a few episodes of Wonder Years today. I remember that show being aired on TV long back, but never really watched it then. Saw a season at a stetch. It was fun initially but later somehow got boring. Some episodes gave the impression that the children (in US) are concerned only about the guy/gal they want to go steady with. This 12 yr old, the protagonist, is confused about his relationships blah blah. So which system is better? There, where you are considered despicable if you dont have a girlfriend/boyfriend, or here where it is not so common to have one. There it gets too complicated, peer pressure affects you a lot regarding it, will have to face major disapointments quite early etc and here, where sometimes you may just wish that you were there and not here. Hmmm
A few more days left for the official holidays to begin. They will be preceded with the sports days and the Amalgam - a cultural event.
Really need to start working on the rescue thing, now that i am alone, it could be tougher. But then again, what is the point of it all? Does anything really make a difference? Make a difference in what? What is actually relevant to a person? Does that person know? How would he know? How can anyone decide his priorities?? But why should a person even care about his priorities etc. Then what should a person care about? Okay, will stop this questioning session. These questions succeed in doing nothing.
Actually heard from people about a talk that they attended today. Apparently the speaker went on trying to prove how good india was in the past, how it was on top, how it was ahead in many aspects etc. We always hear it. That this person has said that India should be commended for its contributions like 0, numerals etc, Or that India was one of the first places with the city structures (Harappa stuff). All that is fine. India was great in the past. Was at the top of the world. Most developed, i agree. But i just feel that, instead of gloating about the past greatness, we should think about what can be done to improve its present state. Hey, i am speaking like a leader in some public meeting. :D
Actually, wanted to write about something else too, but have forgotten it due to the disturbance caused by chatting. So i guess, this is the end of this post.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Another Trip...a longer one this time

Didnt go out of hyderabad for three years and then i go twice in a fortnight. Thats what is called random distribution. This trip was a much longer than the previous one. Took more than four days, had to go all the way to Bhubhaneswar and back. It is only the second time that i had to wait in a station for four hours for a train! The last time, some 10 years ago, i strongly recollect that the culprit was the same Falaknuma Superfast Express. Reached the destination some six hours behind schedule. As usual, i slept through the journey. Couldnt keep my eyes open. Ofcourse, the fact that my temperature was a little on the higher side also contributed to it. Reached BBSR and were taken to my Cousin's house, the one whose marriage was to take place. Soon got sick of hearing how thin i was. Had to gulp down four rosogullas as soon as i reached. All my protests were met with 'how thin you are'... Strangely, i found that everyone excluding me looked fat! I guess they viewed it the other way round. The bridegroom, that is my cousin is a nice looking six-footed 30 yr old Doctor. But the bride was actually 6 days younger to me!! Isnt 10 years too big a gap?? Another factor that could add to their communication gap is that while my cousin knows telugu barely, she doesnt know either hindi or oriya, only telugu. Presently they were conversing in English!!! Arranged marriage...hmm
Many were remarking that it's my brother's turn next...:-S
Cant help comparing the food i had on both the trips. While I had excellent Andhra fare on the previous trip, i had to eat mish-mash sort of stuff on this one. All the curries bore an uncanny resemblance and their ingredients seemed to be all the available vegetables. Reminded me of our great student-controlled-IIIT mess. :(
So i returned today after a few hectic days. Well no respite here either. I was totally busy from the time i stepped foot into the institute. I am lucky to have a break now. Thanks to our director who is too busy to discuss our project today. Looks like work was waiting for me. :((. I am unable to find any free time in the coming days either. Will have to go now...Hey what was i supposed to do now?? Better make a list right now -
Tonite -
Newspapers Sponsorships
STDM project discussion.
Tomorrow -
A class in the morning, i heard rumours about a open book test :( The problem is not that there is a test (am not going to prepare or anything) but that i dont even have the textbook. By the way, what is the textbook? Havent yet seen it :D, I hope IIIT profs dont blog. :-S
Meeting with Camel soon after the class reg STDM project.
Meeting the director immediately after that (today's was postponed right?)
Another class (Will not attend, hopefully)
Another class immediately after that (Have to attend, since i need to take it. :D )
And then the clock will toll 4:30 pm :)

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 do i need to think of a title?

I got a C in English Literature! Initially was given a B (why???) and then the great rules of the administration here made it C. They allege that my attendance is 68%. As far as i remember, i didnt miss more than four classes. Of that, three were because i had to attend MAS. So i just missed one class voluntarily. Actually, it wasnt voluntary either. The previous night, i had slept at 5 am, (early morning it should be called i guess) and i wasnt able to wake up in time for the class. Well, that means that i never willingly missed an English class yet my attendance precentage is 68 and hence my grade was brought down by two. The question that may rise in your mind is when i didnt miss classes, how come i have just 68%? Well, a lot of factors went into that. First of all each class contrbutes more than 3% of the 100%. Hence missing four classes itself brings it closer to the danger area. Added to that, he didnt use to take attendance in all the classes. Even when he took, i wasnt marked present since i was as usual late by a few minutes. Disregarding all the attendance too, there was only one A and 3 A- out of the 35 or so students. We get better grades in any IT course. What is the problem with these people?? Well, in other courses, many people who got A were given F!! What the hell is the problem with these people? If a person is able to perform well without even attending the classes, then why should he be given F? Actually he should be given A+.
Rest of what i wanted to say will be told later...