Monday, August 30, 2004

Not the Continuation of the below...

Sometimes, somedays...
without any reason
from deep inside you
the pain arises from within

I dont know what the matter is. Just dont feel like doing anything. Actually just this isnt much of a problem. But you also become restless. Have not much of any idea of what is bugging you. Well sometimes you do, but then you can see no counter-measures. Even if you do know some, you wouldn't want to try them. Because, in truth, u want something and are unable to obtain it, but the desire is so well hidden within you that you do not even acknowledge its presence. In anycase, is it your fault that you desire something that you are sort of hesistant to accept ?
And when you start writing about it, even then you do not state it explicitly. Just try to work your way round it.

Got up in the morning at somewhere near eight. Looked at the watch, looked at everyone quickly getting ready to go to class, just thought for a second and then went back to sleep. The beginings of an eventless day.
Again got up at 9:30. Had another class at 10. An excellent prof. So i forced to myself to take a bath and sauntered into the main building at 10. We had to submit an assignment then. Luckily he agreed to postpone it till tomorrow. It is usually a very interesting class. Today was no different. Yet in the later part of the hour, i could barely keep my eyes open.
However i fully woke up at the end of the class. After the class, instead of going to the hostel as usual, i ventured in to the library. Another clue to the fact that today wasnt a normal day. I then read about how to set the drivers for Wlan card in linux, when there arent any available for linux, noted a bit of it down and finally got back to hostel. Immediately set about the task of installing the drivers. I finished quite soon. But i wasnt sure of whether they are indeed installed. Also i had no idea how to setup the connection to Wlan.
Had lunch and then returned. Woke up Tejo and sent him to the mess.
Just fell on the bed. Though wasnt feeling so sleepy, i wasnt inclined to get up either.
2..3....4...... woke up finally. Ofcourse there were many intermediary attempts by various people to wake me up but in vain. Went to birthday-boy's room and again fell asleep. Woke again after another hour. But wasnt anyway refreshed.
Just thought about all the things that i needed to do. Then I had these thoughts. Why am i doing anything at all ? i wanted to think of replying to that DIgLib maintainers mail. But then had afterthoughts as to am i not already having more than enough (though these days i am not doing any of them).

There is a desire,

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Continuation of the below...

I seem to be walking for hours. But the surroundings look all the same. True, i am not particularly knowledgable about trees and foilage, but no matter how farther i walk, i seem to find the same leaf at the same place ! It was slowly getting frightening.
Soon, i did notice some clearance. Quickening my pace, i just prayed to get out of this maze. I may not be sure about the existence of god, but at that moment, i convinvced myself that he existed.
The evidence in favour of his (or could be her or could be they either) existence was strengthened as soon as i finally got out of that repetitive nightmare.

This time i discarded those cat-ish instincts and quickly walked home. Just put the whole incident behind me. I still thought about it sometimes, though. But as with all things good or bad, the frequency reduced gradually and i forgot about it... almost.

Was quickly and sleepily scanning the newspaper before going to brush my teeth. Looked at the last page and was working my way back, when somewhere in some page, some photo captured my eyes.
It was him.
Shook me out of sleep. I looked again. Read the caption below it. It said that something about some floods somewhere in South America ! It cant surely be him. Or did I , during that walk been transported to the other part of the world and back ?
With this thought i transported myself to the sink to brush.
While brushing it struck me. The photograph must have been taken here, and they were trying to pass it off as belonging to that place. But even then it did not clear up the confusion.
Who was the boy in the first place and what had happened to the group chasing him that day ???

Friday, August 27, 2004

Nothing to write...

Along the river, though it was more like a small stream, i was walking. Suddenly i came across a strange sight. There was a boy running quite fast. Galloping actually. Leaping and sidestepping all his obstructions, he approaches the river. Out of breath, he stops at the edge of the bank and looks back. My eyes follow his. I fainlty make out outlines of some group of people. Then i looked back at the boy. His eyes did not attempt to conceal any fear. That was the last time i looked at that innocent terrifed face. He ran across the stream as if it was frozen, never looking back. Soon he was lost in the woods on the other side.
I was still rooted to that spot, expecting the hunting pack to come out any moment. But it didnt. Whatever silhouettes i saw earlier were no longer visible. Made me feel that i had been hallucinating or something. But, the footprints on the wet ground were as clear as the sun on this cloudless day. So i could atleast be sure that there was a boy.
Unmindful of my pleading sensible part which continually reminded of the fate of that curious cat (which wasnt cool by the way) , i prodded on towards the place where i think i had seen the pursuers.
But i never seem to be getting any nearer...........

Another Late night Blog

Two hectic days come to an end. But nothing much came out of it. Want to take a break. Go out somewhere and have just 'literature' to read. Did quite badly in Data Warehousing, apparently so was the case with the others. But who cares....
Met with Camel, he gave a farther deadline than i expected him to, which is nonetheless quite insufficient.
Must be getting bored reading about my daily travails i suppose.
The revolution ended before it even started. And seriously, the mess fare also seems to have improved. For starters, the curd is no longer inedible. And most importantly, the plates are clean.I better leave the mess alone...

Finally i would be attending networks today.. After a long long gap.
Better get to sleep now.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Unsolicited advice - depressed anytime just read an Ogden nash poem..........

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

A blooper by Yet Another Blogger !!!

Well, i commited an error in my previous blog, oops No, post :P.
Should never lose a post. I remember just recently i had lost a poem. I was browsing and somehow ended up at this site which gave a textbox asking you to put your poem there. So i wrote one. Just before i started writing, i had clicked on some other link. But, at that time our connection was so fast that the browser went to that link as soon as i had finished my poem :(
They should enable smileys in blogs. It ll give it a more informal feel.
As for searching for a person's blog, thats very very difficult especially if that person has not revealed anything in their profile or has asked it to be kept out of the list.
Lots of work it seemed, yesterday. Half seems to be done now. Actually i did nothing. Just asked others to do it :D.
Better start reading those research papers.......Nah, later. Making the exam, open book has killed any half-hearted attempts that i could have made. I dont seem to be writing any normal old fashioned exam these days.

Blogging frequency has increased tremendously....................
But why should anyone blog ?? I should know !!
Wow, must be the third time that i am writing something before the sun has retired.

Question of the day : Will the Non Cooperation Movement succeed ??
Better look at ranta's blog for answers. He really seems to love his girlfriend.
Nirnimesh just cuts and pastes all his literary creations.... and his letters..... Nehru in the making ?? They do have the first letter common. :P

Everything in a mess

Cant believe it........... :((
Just wrote a big blog. Previewed it and instead of hiding the preview, i pressed 'back' !
:(( :(( :((
Lost everything.... It had something about the mess to Olympics to life to job to sports in US n China to the food in the present mess to Gharshana songs.

Lost all of it. And i cannot create a newer one neither can i recollect the lost one.
Dont feel like writing anything now. But dont feel like sleeping either.
Cant even dare to think of the work i have for the next two days. Its humanly impossible to do it.But somehow it will all be done.

Hey, I need to the title the poem below. My only reader, plz help in that aspect. Actually, you are not the only reader. But yeah, the only reader known to me or even better the only reader to visit it more than once.

So you have the honour to suggest a title to this 'awesome poem' :P
Better post this without previewing......... :)

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Really Amazed !!!

Seems like i blog only late in the night. Anyways i was genuinely surprised to find that i too have an average of some 5 visitors per day. But no one is courageous enough to return :P
So I slept after three yesterday night or shoud it be today morning ?? Hell no, it ll be yesterday morning. :D . Woke up late in the morning, No! i should say afternoon. Why am i talking about it anyway ?

Lost in blogs. Need to be rescued soon.

Along the sea of brightness,
with the darkening sky above
I went with you
Just you, me and my love.

(I m amazed !! frm when did I start writing such stuff ?? anywaz it rhymes pretty well)

Walking softly on the shore,
feeling every grain of the sand.
Happiness consumed me,
just as you touched my hand.

A sound somewhere
A few boats here and there
All of it blanked out
Only you, all my senses sought.

An attempt so feeble
with all the courage i mustered
as I look into your eyes
I find you slightly flustered.

Your hand is slowly raised
gentler than a feather.
points straight ahead
what's the matter ?

My eyes cant take off,
from the beauty that is you.
but i have to look ahead
as desired by you.

Snatching my eyes from their paradise
focus them straight in front
a decision not so wise,
to ashes, my heart is burnt.

An apparition that it is,
I find myself in it
you, no where to be seen!
What does it mean ?

i avert my eyes,
from that ghastly sight.
and try to seek solace
from you, my light.

But a shock i recieve,
as my head turned back
you had silently disappeared
the realisation hit me, whack.

I cringed in total pain
i was worse than a man slain
my vision shut everything,
i could only see black disdain.

From the depths of darkness,
slowly myself, i regained.
the truth itself unveiled
you, i had only imagined.

You were never with me
And i wasnt even on the shore.
All this time, i was just
Blogging as before.

Whew !!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Literature vs Leisurature

Why am i writing a blog when i am supposed to write two 'pieces of literature' ??
On similar lines why do i always, though faintly, remember shakespeare whenever i think of the word literature ??
Or why are we able to write anything we want when we are not asked to but get writer's block when we actually need to write ??
Or why am i asking such NP-hard questions ??

Enough of questions. I also need to improve the quality of my suggested by one fellow-blogger.
Now the important question is that i need to describe my first encounter with Tennyson's Eagle.
What i dont get is, should i write my opinioin abt that 'piece' of literature or can i get away by the describing the class on that day especially Jayaram's WGC !

I better start typing some meaningful literature..... but my fingers seem to go numb as soon as i even attempt to do that.
All this leads to just one conclusion : I cant create 'pieces of literature'.
But if u want any' chunks of nonsense', u can safely approach me.
Ofcourse, even if u dont want anythin, u can 'safely' approach me.

Srry reader, i dont seem to be getting any better at this.............................

The week i went back to school

I m back to this site after a loong time. Quite a hectic week that was. Quite a interesting and also culinarily delightful one. What with a ***** lunch everday of that week. But i had to sit there for approx 12 hrs everyday begining from morning 8:30. Ofcourse, getting up in the morning was the worst part. But it really threw open a wide unexplored area in front of us poor undergrads.
Is there a theory that as people grow with age, they start asking more questions ? (esp those in the academic field) . I always find the Pgs asking all sorts of relevant n redundant questions, whenever they have the oppurtunity of attending the same class as me. :P
In the School too, the oldest person asked the most questions. But he was a good guy. Almost offered us jobs in his research lab. :D

I think i need to ask Su when i will get to see the interface. As the time goes on, the redundancy of my article keeps increasing...

Sunday, August 08, 2004

I m tryin my hands in some deeeeeep stuff

As i was going, passing peacefully through life, there appears the inevitable. The ripple spread slowly through me. Coolly sliding along i was, and the land disappeared. But nevertheless it pricked even the farthest neuron. I came across a cliff and i had no wings. But preoccupied as i was, the tingling sensation bypassed my consciousness. Coming to a dead end, i couldnt do anything, or so i thought. However, slowly the ripple grew to a wave. I could have done anything, i was just hesitant to even consider any alternatives other than blaming my fate. And the wave grew in velocity, quicker and quicker it was heading towards ... . Then i just got so irritated at my helplessness, that i felt really frustrated. I looked up, at just the wrong moment. Well, in my case frustration leads to boredom. And i had more than a mouthful. I tried to distract myself and tried to forget my flaws, if there were any. Suffocated though i was, what was appalling was that no one even approached me to help. But as the adage that never went anywhere says, 'The more you try, the more you fail.' Picking up myself and the pieces of my shattered ego, i moved on. So failling i continued until i faced more boredom.

Writing i continued until i lost the connection