Wednesday, October 29, 2008

and so I go home again !!

just like last time, my trip has been decided just one week in advance. so, again i booked my tickets just 7 days in advance. atleast unlike last time, it did not involve a dedicated search for 4 hours. an half an hour of prowling around secured cheaper tickets (£350) on a better airlines (qatar airways) with shorter total journey times (12 hours unlike the previous one on srilankan airlines which took 18 hrs).

how long you ask? 25 days! but it will be busy few weeks. after all, it is my brother's marriage! so that involves two trips to bangalore for 2-3 days each ... though the rest of the time i will be in hyderabad.

well, the flight is in 15 hours, the bus to the airport is in 11 hours, thats at the unholy time of 5am, and i am still in the lab and yet to even think about packing! so bye bye readers ......

Monday, October 06, 2008

long long ago ... time went by .. it still does

¬ helplessly track wisps of memories floating away into oblivion. try to pull them back, only to find them burst into nothingness like shiny soap bubbles of a mirage.

¬ seen the face almost every other day for four years. exchanged the hi's, the views, the enthusiastic discussions, money, food and assignments. never said a good-bye, but never talked again. see the name in the chat-list everyday, but can't be bothered to message. wonder whether you really knew the face and the name.

¬ ought to message a regular, but the fluctuating list manipulates you into sending the message to someone you rarely conversed with over the past two years. and its awkward. after the standard hi's and the protocol based "how are you? am fine!" exchange, both fall silent. there is nothing to say to each other. the lives are completely different and completely out of touch with the other. the fact that these same lives were closely intertwined just a couple of years ago, holds no significance.

¬ then, there are those kind of persons you meet daily, exchange jokes, talk the general topics and forget about as soon as you walk past them. and sometimes wonder how little you all know about each other. thus, making it certain that once you leave the place, none of them will ever feature in your memories and neither will you in theirs'. yet another addition to the acquaintance links that will quickly wither away.

¬ and finally, there are those that frequently appear in your mind. you recollect all the good times you had, perhaps the not so pleasant ones too. but you are amazed at how they don't exactly seem to remember most of it, making all those memories little imaginary moments of your own mind. you might still meet them regularly, but how can that matter?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

when you have nothing important or useful to say..

okay, i was supposed to be finishing up some long pending tasks, instead i am here, typing out arbitrary stuff, because i don't feel like doing anything else...

some days are meant to have a hopeless feeling about them, for no reason. everything is fine, looks great, but she just didn't feel right. went about the usual tasks, kept up the usual smile, but the mind was doing its own analysis in the background. it came up with two fairly obvious conclusions--- very tired of the routine, and nothing exciting to look forward to.

while i am typing this, i am, in parallel, involved in two different but equally demanding chat conversations, each of which is an attempt at convincing a friend that he should infact go ahead and ask that girl (that he has been infatuated with, for many months/years) out and not worry about the supposed consequences of breaking their existing friendship. naah, i don't seem to be succeeding ... both of them are still too scared, but atleast they accepted that they are deeply interested in their respective girls. sorry for the interruption, we now return.

instead, of going through the day listlessly, and then the week and then months and years, she decided to do some different. perhaps, not very dramatic. certainly not very dramatic, she is incapable of that. she always dreads drawing attention to herself. she even frets if her social circle finds some change in her and remarks about it-- like the other day when she had a slightly fancy haircut inviting a few comments, all positive. but she was extremely uncomfortable that day, even left early in order to not attract any more attention. she preferred to remain inconspicuous. at any party filled with new faces, she would tend to blend into the background unless she is with her close group of friends. thats what surprises her. she is not the traditional introvert. she had concluded at an young age itself that she is slightly weird.

aargh, the chat conversations distracted me for too long and now i don't remember what i was thinking while writing the above paragraph, and certainly no clue on which way to extend it. so it will be abandoned .... let's try something else.

the wind was whizzing past. that made the walk even harder. as it is, walking while absolutely lost in thoughts is not an easy activity. the pace slows down as the thoughts keeping sucking in the consciousness. sometimes, the person might even come to a stand-still and not realise it, like he did. and when he did notice it, he started again with a shake of the head and a shrug of helplessness. in spite of his sudden movement, the blame for the crash lay with the cyclist. he, securely ensconced in his helmet, was distracted by a parade of mini-skirted legs on the pavement and didn't notice the person walking right into his path. both of them collapsed to the ground. the non-cyclist was even entangled with the front wheel. after picking themselves up and scanning for scratches, they looked up to face each other. both smiled sheepishly conveying guilt. obviously, each thought it was his own fault. after a flurry of apologies, they restarted on their perpendicular paths; pushing away the memory of this incident into an abyss in their brains, never to recollect. thus, the cycle did crash into other people and even lamp-posts in the rest of its life-time, the cyclist continued to get distracted ever so often and the non-cyclist did continue to apologise unnecessarily, blaming his absent-mindedness for mistakes he didn't commit.