horrorscope ... painistry

First time when it was suggested, i brushed it off as a joke. But then the nagging began. "how will it make any difference to you?", "Just want to know about your health." blah blah yak yak. Finally i gave in. Thought that i would just enjoy the experience. And so we went to a city-renowned palmist. Yes, a Palmist. I often felt that the theory of how-the-lines-on-your-palm-tell-your-future is much better than how-the-stars-in-the-heavens-predict-your-future. And this particular exponent of the former theory is apparently quite popular going by the queue that was waiting for his audience. Since, his place was quite near our house, we took our token, rested at home and came back to that 'palm-house' at just the right time.

My turn came, we entered after 'removing our footwear'. He was around 50, corpulent and domineering.
(All the conversation has been translated from telugu to english)
He: Are you studying?
Me: Yes, Engineering.
I tenderly offered my right palm, he just glanced at it before he started off on his list of insinuations.
He: Why are you losing interest in your studies ??
Me: (bewildered!! what!! wanted to reply(WTR): i havent the faintest clue what the hell you are talking. True, i havent been studying much, but i am managing pretty well) Reply: erm...cough
He: You are depressed and have lost interest in studies.
Me: (depressed!! I havent been more jollier in my life!! WTR: dude, get ur facts right) Reply: cough... no (a squeak)
He: I am asking you
All this while, he has been scratching on my palm with his reynolds pen, highlighting the lines and curves on my beautiful palm. He ended up making it look ghastly.
And then, relief came in the form of a courier service, who came to deliver a credit card. He wanted a signature and the Pan number or passport number etc. Our man did not even bother to get up. He signed, wrote his telephone number and asked the courier guy to be content with it. The courier guy persisted saying that telephone number wont do, Pan number, Pan number. Our guy joked saying, "Do you people really need the proof of my existence, dont you know me?". Our man brusquely brushed away the poor courier guy and resumed the study of my palm. By this time, i had got back my senses, and wanted to get the hell out of there. He continued...
He: Health is totally fine.
Me: (WTR: If there is any problem with me, that comes under health. Shall i show my medical report and prove it to you?? Get something right dude!! ) Reply: /:) (raised eyebrow.)
My escort: But, will his health be all right??
He: Its totally fine. The problem is his depressed mind.
Me: (WTR: Now, you accuse me of being a psychosomatic!!!) Reply: Stoic Silence
He: You have chances of going abroad in the near future.
Me: (gloating. well, he is bound to get something right afterall.) Reply: Straight Face
He: You may fall into troubles relating to love.
Me: (WTR: Come on, get real. I dont even have a love-life.. is that the trouble you are talking about?) Reply: /:)
He magically produced a ring from nowhere, and put it on my finger. I wanted to snatch it off immediately, but i waited till i was out of his sight.
I finally left shaking my head in disbelief at this strange ordeal.