A nice day

Sometimses, u feel lost and gone..all out. And a single day changes all that. All the problems that looked daunting now seem insignificant. The sunlight has broken throught the clouds..blah blah..... Just felt totally out yesterday...but now today has rejuvenated me. Do consider the fact that i am saying this after a hectic day in which i have already been awake for some 20hrs continuously.
Thanx to mani, we hopefully have qualified. Mani rocks.

The mind is ecstatic,
but the eye is going static
they fight with each other
and the result is drastic

Refuse to cooperate any longer
No signals the eye sends
no orders the mind gives
their obstinacy, neither mends

Will be continued (my eyes r drooping so much that i am unable to look at the screen) Gudnite.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Had to post ...felt like blogging

Why do people put filters in pine? They put filters like personal, for all mails addressed specifically to them. And each time they check mail, they need to go each such folder and check whether they got a mail. It would be much less work if they let such mails remain in their inbox. I think you should not use something just because you know how to use it. I could be being a bit harsh. Ofcourse filters are quite useful when you are expecting a large amount of mails regarding a specific topic etc. Filter or no filters, mails will still come.
I dont think i can stay without checking mail every half an hour. I have become a 200-pine freak.

Havent advanced a line in this post after the previous one as i am being continuously bombarded with IMs. This sentence is coming after a long time. I did a queer thing today in literature class. Did not feel interested in what he was talking about, and i just felt like writing something, so i started writing. I wrote down most of what he said along with my comments which went on for some 6 pages. I dont remember writing this much notes after the first year (maybe not even then). I ll put them all on site someday, the day which grants me with infinite patience.

I realised that one can most creative in the early mornings after a good nights sleep which unfortunately is a rarity for me. Even then, the only progress that i made in my story has been early in the mornings.

What is the point of life anyway? What would happen to the toppers if they get an F in networks ?? What difference would it make to life if my sentence ended with the this word? What am i writing anyway? Am i going crazy? Or are you? Is this a question? Will it have an answer? Should i preview this or post directly? Should i even post this?

I guess we know the answer for the last question. :D

rain rain come again

Its suddenly started raining :)

rain rain come again and again
the sun is just a pain
all other seasons are vain

Wrote that contest yesterday, some questions were too easy, and some too tough. Most of the time was spent in trying to parse the input (by mostly everybody). So i guess that means that the questions could have been better. Twice again next week. I hope we will atleast qualify from IIIT :D if not more.

An excellent book can be written about our lives here at IIIT. I think much better than that 5.someone. :D:D I suppose it is not as realistic as it could be. Especially about the fact that they work for some 3 hrs everyday for their 5 cg!! Here, i dont think anyone other than the 10-pointer reads so much. They also had to call it a plan with a nice sounding name for what we do usually here - copying assignments. Maybe things were different during the 90's in iits. I have no idea. The part about the girl was well written. I guess that must have been the best way to get a girl into the picture. All in all, the book was an excellent one. Quite interesting and funny. Even those who dont read often have been reading this book in one go. Also i guess this book is the closest to our life here. All this reminds me that pending story. :( Need to write soon. But what!!

Calculus.....lambda calculus

Almost a week since my last post. Evidently i have been very busy. At no point during this duration were both me and my pc free at the same time. Spent a lot of money in these few days too :( . But i also got my second pay :D.

Popl test, what a good experience. Studied intermittently between 2 and 3 in the morning, for actually some 15 mins. Then another 15 mins before going to write the exam. By the way, this subject doesnt deserve any more of our time. The best part was that, no studying was required for the questions asked in the exam. I thank the prof :D
Some people were quite tensed even about this exam. Below is a chat conversation which lead to a funny situation.

myownsiddharth: u there
mythalez: yeah
myownsiddharth: from where are u studying calculus
mythalez: frm shantinarayan
myownsiddharth: is that a book
mythalez: yeah
myownsiddharth: urs
mythalez: yeah
myownsiddharth: can u lend it to me
myownsiddharth: after u read
mythalez: ok
mythalez: if u want it u can take it now
myownsiddharth: when
mythalez: coz i need it later
myownsiddharth: wat time
mythalez: come here and take it
mythalez: now
myownsiddharth: i will take it for the night
myownsiddharth: say after 12
mythalez: no i'l need it at night
myownsiddharth: till wat time time
mythalez: if u want it take it frm me now
myownsiddharth: when do u want it back
mythalez: till 5 in the morning
mythalez: any time
myownsiddharth: till wat time i can keep it with ya
mythalez: till say 12
myownsiddharth: can i take it again at 5
myownsiddharth: or 6
myownsiddharth: in the morn
mythalez: yeah sure
myownsiddharth: i'll be there in 10 mins
mythalez: ok
myownsiddharth: bye
mythalez: bye
mythalez: n
myownsiddharth: wat
myownsiddharth: i am coming
mythalez: ok

that was dilip chatting as mythalez from my pc. Coincidentally i had one 50 year old Shanti Narayanan book in my room. So here comes the guy, looking for the book. I hand it over to him as soon as he enters my room. Then he starts looking in it for the topic 'lambda calculus'. :D
For the ignoramuses, Shanti narayanan is the author of a famous book on calculus (of the diff, integral kind) where as lambda calculus is something related to programming.
Asks questions like "kahan hain yaar, differential mein hai ki integral main ? etc" After a lot of searching in the book, he gives up and pleads me to either point out the relevant pages to him or teach him myself. We gave a lot of subtle hints, but he was too tensed to even understand that someone's leg is being pulled.
Finally, had to ask him - "what did u think? Differential calculus, Integral Calculus, and then Lambda calculus??"
Poor guy :D:D:D

Need to do a lot of things...but not doing any :D.

To The Sole Reader

A sigret is a sigret. Sometimes, one just feels in a certain different way. It may not have a reason, no apparent cause. Do not feel good, actually feel horrible. No apparent reason. Feel a lacking, what is it? Dont have a clear idea. But somehow feel that it could be some thing. Not even confident about the analysis. Then reminiscence throws up some vague notions. Then start thinking about those incidents. Start a whole lot of thinking processes. A small lacking may ignite a big desire(i am sick of this word, but cant find any suitable substitute). So then memories about the various feeble attempts made are remembered. Then, patience as a virtue seems to be the ideal one to exercise. But the whole problem had arisen due to too long a wait, hasnt it? Any small attempt may be preempted by hundreds of apprehensions. So, in the end, what comes out is nothing. But maybe just a stupid post :P

Messed up sleep

Why the hell am i sitting in front of this intelligent box at 3 in the night when i have nothing to do and have had insufficient sleep the past few days? Because i have become a day-sleeper, cant fall asleep at night. I looked at my orkut profile. It gives an impression that i sleep all the time, which is totally contrary to the actual fact :((. What has IIIT done to me! From someone who slept for more than 9 hrs to someone who doesnt even sleep for 4 hrs sometimes!! Why am i cribbing, by the way? No one is stopping me from falling asleep, its all my fault any way :D.
The guilty condemns the crime.

Looked at my blog...and realised that all the time i either talk about myself or crib about lack of sleep :D. Better change the attitude of my posts, something different is required.

Abstract once again -

I know that i neednt do it. Neednt wait for it. It is of no use. Most probably, the wait would be in vain, if not, the gain wouldnt be much anyway. But the loss due to waiting like this most of the time could be immense. The loss has not been determined as yet. But it has a very wide range. But the little spark of hope is never extinguished. (Remembered today's english class, 'sight and speech extinguished') Its not that if the hope hadnt been, then i would have moved on. Would still stay there in despair. Despair! Why? No idea. Since none is present. The fingers type what makes not much sense. The reader attempts to comprehend the maze but fails and just moves on to either the next post, next blog, or something else. I look at this later and think, what was i trying to say anyway? Well, i wasnt trying to say anything, was just trying to fill up space and time. Fill time....pass time until the time is up. But time as it is ...moves on by itself.
A none-ug3-IIITian has viewed my blog. I just hope he hasnt read one particular post.

Just trying.............out

A time of the day, everyone walking around, going about their own business, not really giving a damn about anyone or anything else. There is that old one, rushing along as usual, late as usual, yet trying to be on time, as usual. But no, there is some difference today. Some imperceptible change. Not noticeable unless you tried hard to notice it. An attempt to distinguish something that was supposed to be hidden rarely meets with success. But, there is some difference today. Clearly visible to those who care to notice it. But what about those who prefer to continue their lives ignoring any scent of change, acting as if it is just an temporary thing that would disappear in a millisecond? Going about, not even acknowledging the difference that is so obvious to others? But who constitute the others? a very small majority i suppose. A small majority? Well, yes since the other big majority does not even bother to utlilise their voting rights.
But the change is quite distinguishable. They all know it, just fear to acknowledge it. Every now and then, a small movmement gives away this fact. A small look on those faces which strive as anything to be straight gives away their secret. Its not the eyes that are blind, but the mind. The mind is not blind either, it just refuses to open the eyes. Well maybe, the mind's eyes are open too, they just refuse to focus.
All of them refusing to accept the change in the hope that it is nothing but a dream whereas a dream if any is what they are living in.
Better to understand the reality and suffer than to be happy in an illusion. Because then, when the reality strikes, it strikes too hard.

Great weather today

Was very pleasant to watch and feel. But slept through most of it. Then had to spend the rest of the time studying :(. It would have been great to go out and spend some time walking with the cool wind. No.....not writing a poem...dont wrry.
A question lingering, which one is better? Open book exam or a closed one? I thought open book because then we wouldnt need to read much, but many prefer closed book as they say that open book question papers are very tough compared to the other kind.
I actually had to think of what to write now! Very strange. Writing or not writing, blogging is a good pastime. I think i will end this post here, am unable to figure out what to write about. And whatever i am conjuring is not making any sense, and am forced to delete the whole line...

Cant think of a title

I am writing this post since i have nothing else to do. Or rather not interested in doing anything.
How often does orkut open without an error? Cant believe that it's also a google offspring. DF is truly working...but i want better threads. The present ones arent so interesting. Neither are my posts :D. Finally i am back on some decent sleeping schedule.
Saving Private Ryan, an awesome movie, though i knew that long before actually watching it, i dont think any war movie can get more realistic.
My post is resembling any other normal post which one can see on innumerable blogs!! NOoo! need to do something about it.
A story is to be written. The author doesnt actually want to write it. But he had a choice and he chose this one. So now he has to write one. Writing a story is no big deal. But when there is a need to write one, then it does not seem so easy. Stories..innumerable must have been told till now. A lot more are still left untold. Will there come a time when no new stories are left? I mean can the human race exhaust all possible stories ?? Well that is impossible. But what about the core theme of the stories. I mean can there be infinite themes as well ?
I just pose questions.
On similar lines, what about the possible tunes ? I mean music wise.

Windows, why are u so hard on me :(. I just hope i am third time lucky .......
Let me warn you, anymore trouble, i might as well install someother OS........

Watching the Sunrise

Well, after a lot of sleeping in the past few days, theres none today. The sun is about to rise now. Hey, earlier people used to wake up early to watch sunrise, nowadays we just need to sleep late to do the same thing. :D

A streak of light through the dreary night,
misty hue in air, hanging with all its might.

the sight brightens, something enlightens
the vast grass, its greenery heightens

the formation of rocks, it slightly mocks
at my unwashen face and the tangled locks.

my sleep deprived eyes, aloud it cries
'staying awake all night is unwise'

a glimpse of sun, i wait for one
but the cloud cover, attempts some fun

blocking out the rays, my patience it preys
no glance of sun, my sleepless soul dismays

the dark cloud, though temporarily shroud
the perennial sun, ultimately won !

with the breaking daylight, a marvellous sight
with the chirping sparrows, i slept tight.

Music n Dance

Last week was a hectic one (again!!) I guess my blog is getting boring, if i keep on ranting about my 'hectic weeks'. The Musical Nite was simply a superb affair. Insomnia rocked! They were jsut superb. Played like professionals. Acted like them too. The second string band wasn't lacking behind in any way either. Kiran's 'Zombie' was just mind-blowing. I dont see how anyone can get more closer to the original. Have been listening to Cranberries for the past five days. All the time spent in trying to get a decent folk dance for Vayu went in vain. Finally, the western ones came to rescue and did some folk,otherwise, we may not have had an entry at all! Danced all the time during the 'dance party'. Amazed myself, never expected to dance that much.
Why am i writing my daily stuff here? Dont i have anything better to do? I dont know. Felt like writing a post so i am doing it.
Ravi was reading my blog someday, and then he moved onto other things. I asked him whether he found it boring, he truthfully replied in the affirmative. So i thought about how a blog can be interesting. I guess it will only be interesting to someone, if the topic being discussed is of interest to that person.
" Interest lies in the mind of the Reader"
In this case, i suppose i as a person am not so interesting to him :D.
This blog id is 7331341. I think this would be my 32nd post. Till now there are some 31 comments excluding some 3 were lost due to haloscan. I cant obtain the statistics regarding the number of lines, words etc, or can i? Hey, i can - i have written some 6652 words till now, excluding this post. It also says that i had some 97 profile views till now, and that my average is two posts per week. I guess the average time that i write a post would be around 2:30 am. I hope that my parents dont come to know this. They would be aghast to know that i stay awake so late everynight. :D
So with this sentence i am going to end the 32nd post in BlogID 7331341.

Better not read this...

Almost continuously writing another post.
Looked at the phrase : Time-to-live. Though it was something regarding networks(computer), i just looked at its literal meaning.
Time to live ? What does it mean ? Which is the best time to live ? The present ? Again the inevitable question arises, whats the point of life ? Had a lot of silly discussion about this with the usual discussers(did i coin a new word?) Some said that their ideal life would be solitary on a nice island with sufficient food, one also wanted books for his pastime there, the other said he would use his currently dormant brain. But is that the ideal life ? I say no. I would get really bored quite soon. Though they didnt seem to agree.
Coming back to initial question, is there any point to life ? The unanswerable question i suppose. And life is full of them. Maybe the point of life is to findout the point of life. Whatever it means... Dont know why i am writing this, than doing better and useful things like falling asleep.
Falling asleep! Do u fall into deep cavern, only to climb out when you wake up ? Why was the body designed such that it needed rest ? An evolution characteristic which developed due to the day-night system of our planet, i suppose.

the titles of my posts

Just looked at all the titles of my posts. Most of them state a very obvious fact which is that i had nothing to write. I guess that is because i write the title first then the post.
Had just 10 hrs of sleep in the last 50 hrs. Actually, 62 hrs.(Lots of math has gone into these figures:) But most of the time spent has come to naught. Realised a very important thing, that more than capability, interest or enthusiasm in doing something is more neccessary. Also just realised an important virtue of mine :D. That i am usually the last person to give up. That too because there is no one else willing to further the cause along with me. Though it sounds like a very good quality, it has its disadvantages. For one, no point in trying something that is not possible. Ofcourse, the decision of what is possible or not, again lies with me. So we should also know when to quit. More importantly, when not to quit.
Sometimes, your instincts are so very correct. Makes you think whether there is some divinity involved, or it could just be coincidence. We do not remember when our instinct failed us, but think again and again where it succeeded.
I am using 'again' again and again.
A parting mention - It feels real good to be appreciated. :)